


The Apology

by roguedragon17



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Apologies, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 19:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguedragon17/pseuds/roguedragon17
Summary: Alistair feels like he owes the Warden an apology. But it doesn't really turn out as planned.





	The Apology

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to get rid of some writer block and just needed something fluffy for myself. I hope you enjoy though. Also when I did my first play through, I knew nothing about the game, so I named my dog Al, which is short for Alexander. Then I realized Al was a nickname people have for Alistair, and honestly, I just refuse to change it. My Warden finds it really funny though and so do I.  
This is also posted on Wattpad, under a different user name.

I awoke from a nightmare, shaking, breathing heavily. I felt like I couldn’t get enough air into my body. It felt like I had been punched in the diaphragm.  
With every week that had passed since becoming a Grey Warden the nightmares have just been getting worse and worse. The most painful ones came while I was in the Deep Roads. The small argument with Alistair before leaving didn’t help any either. It actually aggravated the situation more than I could have ever imagined.  


Keeping Alistair alive was one of my top priorities, right up there with stopping the Blight and keeping a lid on the pot the best I could. Given that, I couldn’t take him with us. It was sensible, wasn’t it? If I were to die down there he would need to take over. At least one of us needs to live, and if that means him… then so be it. He was a better choice to live, even if he didn’t think so.  


Alexander, whined and tried to get my attention. I sat up slowly, blankets shifting, letting the cool air hit my bare skin.  


“I am alright Al, do not worry...” My words came out quietly. Almost as if I was telling myself more than I was telling him. He whined again, and nuzzled into my hand. I chuckled a bit before scratching under his chin.  


We sat in the quiet like that for a few minutes, Al all but forgetting that I was upset by the dream. He was just an easy dog to distract, as long as there was no immediate threat that he knew about.  
“You are such a big baby, did you know that?” A small knock interrupted Al’s response. He instead let a low growl out towards the door. “Hush.” We sat there for a moment, waiting for another knock, after a few seconds, it happened again. “Well, I guess it was not a part of our imagination.”  


I slid off the bed. The stone floor was cold to the touch, which I thought was odd considering a bunch of lava ran through the lower levels of the city.  


When I finally opened the door Alistair was standing there, looking slightly shocked. “I didn’t think you would answer,” he said when he first saw me. His tone was different from when I left for the Deep Roads, then he was angry, glaring holes right through me. Now he sounded softer, his normal tone returning, he was not making jokes, yet. But, it was still better than his slight yelling.  


“So… you knocked quietly, so I wouldn’t answer?” I questioned.  


“No,” he chuckled, “I just wasn’t sure if you were asleep, or if you wanted company.”  


“What kind of company?”  


“Just company…” He responded quickly. There was no joke to break the tension.  


I sighed and moved out of the way letting him into the room. Al let out a growl went Alistair walked into the room, causing him to freeze in his tracks.  


“Al, it is fine... Please ignore him. He is just tired is all,” I said, trying to reassure him that Al wouldn’t bite his leg off or something.  


“How… How are you feeling?” Alistair asked as I passed him.  


“Like was rammed into by an Ogre… and a Golem,” I responded sarcastically.  


“Yeah, I hear that is bad for you. Can break bones if you aren’t careful,” He responded. It wasn’t necessarily a joke, but it was a bit of sarcasm, it was better than nothing. I began to wonder how far I could push this, how long it would take before we were back in our normal routine. “That would be bad for us, our great leader out of commission. Somebody would have to carry you everywhere with us.”  


“Or you could leave me for the wolves,” I responded, without looking at him. “It would save you all anymore trouble.”  


“Or… we could carry you,” Alistair said a little to quickly.  


“I like the wolves better, maybe throw me into the lava, that sounds like a fun death.”  


“I don’t think that would be fun at all. Now playing cards or maybe having a drink, now that..."  


"Alistair, I was joking," I cut him off abruptly.  


"Oh, um, it's really hard to tell with you," he chuckled. "You would think after traveling with you for awhile now I would have gotten used to it."  


"Alistair, why are you here? Obviously it was not to talk about my sense of humor."  


"Or lack of... Please don’t look at me like that."  


"Like what?” I asked. He didn’t respond, he just looked around the room ignoring my gaze. I let the silence fall for a few moments, trying to gather my thoughts. I still don’t understand why he was here or what he wanted. He barely spoke to me when we returned, he just ignored my presence and went to Wynne. “Alistair, I am going to ask again, and don’t give me a joke answer, why did you come here?”  


He took in a deep breath, but remained silent for a bit longer. His hand went to his pocket and he pulled out his token and began to run his thumb over the surface. Something he did every time he was nervous. Just like I played with my parent’s wedding rings that I kept around my neck. I let out another sigh, and patted the bed right next to me.  


“Take you time, but please have a seat, you are making me uncomfortable with the shifting,” I said, while giving him a slight smile. Hopefully that would calm his nerves a bit. I watched his eyes move to Al, who was still stared and bared his teeth at him.  


“He isn’t going to bite me, right? I don’t think I am that tasty.”  


“He won’t bite… Al, lay down,” I said sternly enough for Al to listen. Al then let out a huffed breath and found his spot at the end of the bed. Once he was settled Alistair sat down next to  
me.  


“I came to apologize,” Alistair finally said, after a moment. His voice was quiet.  


“For yelling at me, or just being a dick in general?”  


“Always the blunt one aren’t you?”  


“Depends on the situation... But you were saying,” I responded before he could make a smartass comment.  


“Right, I am sorry for the way I acted a few weeks ago. It is just, the idea of you going down there without me, it made me so angry. We should have gone down there together, we are the Grey Wardens, dealing with Darkspawn is our job, it is what we do! And you going down there alone...”  


“I was not alone,” I cut him off.  


“But you didn’t take me with you… I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, you are the one in charge… So, with that… I am sorry.”  


I thought about what he said for a moment, I can understand why he feels the way he does, but he still does not understand the entire situation.  


“Alistair,” I chuckled. He looked at me confused. “You mean well, but you do not really understand that I did what I did for a reason. Yes, it hurt that you would not give me a chance to explain, you just got pissy and stormed off.” I turned toward him, my hands finding his. It felt right to hold them in my own. “Will you let me explain? Without yelling, without getting upset?” Alistair, looked at our hands, his face turning a slight red. He nodded at me, eyes never leaving our intertwined fingers. “Good, if you start to get an attitude with me, I will stop talking and kick you out of this room,” I said curtly. “One of us needed to stay behind. It made the most sense. Think if we would have both been down there, something happened and we both died… That would have been the end of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden… Are you still with me?”  


“Yes,” Alistair said quietly.  


Removing one of my hands from his I rested it on the underside of his chin. Lifting it so that he was forced to look into my eyes. I was gentle with him, I did not want him to think that I was angry with him. Because I was not… I just felt hurt. I took in a deep breath, and finally spoke again. “I figured, it would be a lot easier to leave you here just in case. I needed a backup plan in case I failed. I am fine with myself dying, but you, I do not think I could live with myself if you died.”  


“Because I am Maric’s son,” Alistair said as more of a statement rather than a question.  


“You know for a damn fact I do not give a fuck about that. This has nothing to do with them, it has to do with you. So,” I pinched his cheek lightly, “do not fucking mention it again.” Alistair chuckled at me, so I pinched his cheek again. “You mean a lot to me, well so do the rest of our companions but… You mean the world to me. And, I would honestly fight all of Thedas to keep you safe and happy… But I am still hurt that you would not let me explain. Hopefully that explanation helped you a bit.”  


“It kind of helps… I am still upset about it but… Also, You're confusing woman.”  


“_Oh, poor baby did I hurt your head?_”  
__

_ __ _

“Oh yes. You confused me so much my head feels like it is going to explode.”  


“I thought that was normal.”  


“Oh, haha, you are so funny, aren't you?” He asked sarcastically, moving one of his hands to slightly pinch my side.  


“Ouch,” I yelped.  


“Oh, shit, I am so sorry!” Alistair exclaimed.  


“It is fine. I am alright. Just a bit sore… It doesn’t help I have a bruise right where you pinched.” I smiled at him. He smiled back. Even if it was just slightly.  


For a while we sat there in silence. Hands still intertwined. His hands were calloused from his work with a sword and shield. They were also larger than mine, but given that he was taller than I was, it was no surprise. They were also rather warm and sweaty… But I was content with holding his hand and refused to let go.  


I laid my head on his shoulder. This wasn’t the first time we have had an intimate moment. At one point, I thought he might actually kiss me but I was wrong. I felt safe around him, he helped me forget what happened before all of this started, what led me to the Wardens… At least for a moment.  


Alistair cleared his throat causing the silence to finally break. “So, I mean the world to you, huh? Should that make me feel special?”  


I thought for a moment. It made him special to me. But, to the rest of Thedas I had no idea. I looked at him trying to figure out the right thing to say…  


Before I could speak, though, his lips pressed lightly against mine. It was light, like a feather hitting the ground. Before he could pull away my fingers entwined into his hair so I could get a little more leverage into the kiss.  


We stayed like that for a while, lips moving against each other. When we finally parted I was breathing heavily, he was staring at me. It was sweet, but his eyes were full of worry.  


“Do all of the times you go to apologize to people usually end up this way?” I ask between the deep breathes. He chuckled at me. I just noticed how red his face really was… it was actually rather attractive.  


“No, just this once… That wasn’t to soon was it?”  


“I, I don’t know, I think we need to try it a few more times to figure it out,” I mentioned sarcastically.  


“I can manage that,” he said, before his lips pressed against mine once again.


End file.
